Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Eduard Khil >> I Am Very Glad, Because I'm Finally Returning Back Home (Trololo)


The Trololo song comes to Spotify, sadly without being able to see Eduard's manic grinning face as he shuffles around the stage in his brown leisuresuit. For that, you really need Youtube.

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Saturday, 19 June 2010

Various Artists >> Love Making Songs

I'll let our submitter Ben do the talking here: "This is shocking - worse than it looks.. yep, worse than the cover art. Not some bad compilation - mainly the work of one "Will Henry" who seems to think you'd want to get your rocks off to his piss-poor drum-machine-and-Casio rip-offs of the Crusaders."

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Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Various Artists >> Beethoven's Farth

One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong. This album of party hits is pretty non- descript, but one song stands out above all others. Who would have thought Beethoven was such a flatulent guy?

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Wafted towards me by PO Anfelter

Sunday, 30 May 2010

Album removed.

There was another album here, but I've removed it. The artist whose album it was has displayed their ignorance by contacting me, accusing me of breaching copyright by posting my review and by linking to the album on Spotify.

Despite my attempts at explaining that I have no association with Spotify besides being one of it's users, and that the artist had, either directly or indirectly, approved the album to be published online themselves, they persisted in their endeavour to bully me into removing it.

This artist has supposedly contacted their attorney over this. In one email, they demanded $1,000 per year to publish their works, again not understanding that they are trying to negotiate with the wrong people.

So, because I'm just a user, a normal guy doing something perfectly legal by reviewing their album and linking to it on Spotify (a perfectly legal music service, comparable to iTunes), but don't want this hassle, I have removed my review.

Now you, readers of this blog, cannot know about this album, cannot listen to it on Spotify, and the artist will receive no revenue for you doing so (which they would otherwise have done).

Ladies and Gentlemen, this artist truly is The Best of the Worst of Spotify.

Saturday, 29 May 2010

Birgit Løkke >> Forbidden Forest


What is this? Is this new age? Experimental? Or perhaps it's just mental. Bells, clangs, ethereal noises, bangs and other strange sounds make this album particularly droll.

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Saturday, 8 May 2010

Brainbombs >> Urge To Kill


After listening to only a few songs from this album, my urge to kill is definitely rising. It's monotonous, droll, loud, and senseless. Is this music? I just don't get it.

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Wednesday, 14 April 2010

DJ Master Mix >> Dance Fever TV & Movie


Take some famous TV theme tunes, and then proceed to crap all over them by adding a horrid beat and synthesiser sounds.

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Saturday, 10 April 2010

Jackie Gleason >> Presents "Oooo!"

Ooooh ooooh ooooh ooh oooh, ooooooooooh oooooooooh oooh. Ooh oooooh oooooh, ooooooooh ooh oooh ooooooh ooh, ooooooooh oh oooh.

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Oooooooh oooooooh oooooh ooooooh, JonnieCache!

Monday, 5 April 2010

Olga Marie Mikalsen >> Olga Synger Solo


I swear I sound exactly like this when I'm singing in the shower.

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Thanks to tipster Hans, who was at least nice enough to apologise in his email.

Sunday, 21 March 2010

Russ Abbot >> Songs of Joy

Funnyman Russ Abbot is not well known for his singing career, for a good reason. This is his third album (according to Wiki) and he struggles to find things to sing about, instead resorting to a series of bad cover versions.

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Thanks to AF82 via Twitter

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Memories of Underdevelopment >> Throat of a Black Kitten


This bizarre album sounds a bit like my tape player eating the cassette. I guess it's what the musical elite like to call 'experimental'. I just call it 'mental'.

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Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Vote for me in The Spotties!

The Best of the Worst of Spotify has been nominated for a Spottie award in the 'Best News or Music Finder Site' category!

Vote for me at Pansentient.com and you have a chance of winning one of three 3-month Spotify Premium subscription vouchers, courtesy of Spotify.

Jaye Mitchell >> Love Streams

Recording industry, please come back, all is forgiven. This.. this is just.. possibly the worst thing I've ever heard. It's only redeeming feature is that I can stop it playing at any time I want to.

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Thanks to tipster Nathan!

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Joey Welz >> LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND

This guy is prolific, with over 40 albums on Spotify alone. There's no way I can listen to them all to find the one that's most awful, but I don't think any of them are going to be particularly good.

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And remember, CAPS LOCK is cruise control for cool!

Monday, 28 December 2009

Joe Pesci >> Vincent Laguardia Gambini Sings Just For You

Christmas is a time for watching movies, and something every movie has in common is that it's got actors in it. Which is a coincidence, because Joe Pesci is also an actor! Reprising his role from 'My Cousin Vinny' Pesci recorded this album in character.

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Sunday, 20 December 2009

Crazy Frog >> Jingle Bells

Crazy Frog was born from a silly recording someone made and released to the internet a few years back. So what better occasion can there be than Christmas to listen to a horrid noise such as this?

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Wing >> Everyone Sings Carols With Wing


Santa Claus is coming to town, but he's gonna turn his sleigh right around and head back to the North Pole as soon as he hears Wing warbling these seasonal classics.

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William Hung >> Hung For The Holidays


Not the first time we've featured William Hung, but as we're getting close to Christmas it's about time to inflict his album of holiday hits on you and those around you.

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2 Live Jews >> Christmas Jews


The worst thing about this is not that it exists, but that I had three Christmas-themed albums to choose from!

Oy vey!

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Rupaul >> Ho Ho Ho


Rupaul the red nosed drag queen, had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows. All of the other drag queens, used to laugh and call her names. They never let poor Rupaul, join in any drag queen games.

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Matthew Ross >> Wurlitzer Christmas


"It's like listening to Christmas in a retirement home, as the old-folks are all lined up in the dining room" said my wife, just now. I think that's all that needs to be said about this album, really.

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Friday, 18 December 2009

Greg MacDonald >> A Real Steel Christmas


The Steel Drum is not an instrument traditionally associated with Christmas music, and it turns out there's a very good reason.

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Thursday, 17 December 2009

Paris Hilton >> Paris

How has this blog gone so long without posting this hotel heiress? With liberal use of autotune, the engineers just about manage to wrangle her voice into some semblance of accurate pitch, but there's just no emotion there. Just like her face.

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Friday, 11 December 2009

The Chipmunks >> Christmas With The Chipmunks

All your favourite Christmas songs, recorded by chipmunks. Of course, what this means, is that they're normal songs but they've raised the pitch of the vocals by a silly amount. Cute? No. Annoying? Oh definitely.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

The Power Pack Orchestra & Singers >> Kid's Themes


There are lots of albums of theme music on Spotify, many of them cheap imitations and cover versions. However, this album has to be the cheapest of them all. Awful.

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