Sunday, 15 July 2018

Farrah Abraham >> My Teenage Dream Ended



In a review for this album, a writer for Entertainment Weekly wrote, "Vocal effects are applied so thickly that you can’t really understand a word Abraham is yelping. Blessing in disguise?" Some critics have lauded the record's indescribable sound as "brilliantly baffling and alienating", while others have stated that it will make the listener "want to kill themself."  Sounds perfect to me.

Play Album


Sunday, 8 July 2018

Fruity Water >> Thirst Takes



This duo from Brighton, England have a pretty nice sound, sort of synth-pop influenced.  They're super serious, too.  They have a twitter, facebook, instagram, and play gigs.  Why has nobody told them the singer just can't sing?

Play Album

Sunday, 1 July 2018

Chief Kooffreh >> Star Sunshine Music



Today is the 1st of July, traditionally a warm and sunny time of year in the northern hemisphere.  What could be a better celebration of summer than sunshine music? 

Play Album

Sunday, 24 June 2018

Fate vs Free Willy >> New Dead End



Headache-inducing guitar noise and barking sounds that I assume are attempts at singing, all recorded, given the amount of reverb, in what I assume is a large plastic tube.

Play Album

Sunday, 17 June 2018

Bingo Gazingo - Bingo Gazingo



More bizarre music from the "why would anyone record this, let alone listen to it" category.  Weird ramblings on wide-ranging topics set to music.  Perhaps it's some sort of poetry or performance art?  Who knows.

Play Album

Sunday, 10 June 2018

Magic Tricks >> I Got Bored



Terrible rap is a regular staple on this blog, so here's another completely forgettable album to throw on that particular trash-pile.

Play Album

Sunday, 3 June 2018

Matt Farley >> Official Motern Media Playlist



June 3rd is the birthday of prolific singer-songwriter Matt Farley. You might remember I featured a few of his albums back in March this year. He has declared that on his birthday everyone in the world must listen to the OFFICIAL MOTERN MEDIA PLAYLIST on Spotify.  Who am I to argue?

Play Playlist

Sunday, 27 May 2018

Party Boy Sings >> Pussy Crazy at the Forbidden Bowling Alley



This artist has an amazing 17 albums on Spotify, with titles such as "Farts and Poo in a Toilet Full of Pee", "Bohemian Ass Disco with a Pubic Rhapsody", "Peeing and Pooping in My Pants", and "Whacky Farty Party with Huge Titties".  Normally I would assume he had let his four-year-old son choose the names, but having listened to some of the songs I'm not convinced.

Play Album

Sunday, 20 May 2018

The Willett Family >> The Roving Journeymen



Something a little different for you this week. From the depths of Spotify's archive comes this 1969 album of English traditional songs, sung by Ben, Tom, and Chris Willett. Despite the obvious age in their singing voices it's not bad, but I have to wonder who would buy this and why?

Play Album

Sunday, 13 May 2018

Wing >> Wing's Greatest Hits



I last featured Wing on this blog back in 2009, and we're very much overdue for a revisit.  If you've never heard of Wing before, she's a Chinese singer who covers songs in her own inimitable style. A real treat for the ears.

Play Album

Sunday, 6 May 2018

Joey and Martha Welz >> When Two Become One



This autobiographical album seems like a sweet idea at first. What puzzles me though is why they would ever release it to the public? Not only that, but there's a second album with more of the same!

Play Album

Sunday, 29 April 2018

Léon fa Du Fond >> Biggest OG in Ottawa



Straight from the autotune dimension, this French-Canadian rapper somehow manages a well produced album despite his lack of vocal talents. A polished turd.

Play Album

Sunday, 22 April 2018

DJ Matari >> Greatness



Greatness is living on the inside of you, claims DJ Matari.  However, his actions don't mirror his words, as he was arrested earlier this month for stealing the Oscar trophy from American actress Frances McDormand. "Are sick beats supposed to make me feel physically sick like this?" writes AlbinoWino11.

Play Song

Sunday, 15 April 2018

William Verkler >> ExtermiNation



"Instrumentals with Sound Effects", and "POPULATION CONTROL: Not the Sort of CHANGE I Expected" adorn the cover of this album of synth... music?  Lots more albums from this artist to check out, all equally awful.

Play Album

Sunday, 8 April 2018

The Mike Korzak Band >> Uncle Beanies Band



I imagine the recording of this album went a little like this: "OK, we're recording? Yeah? Great. Can you turn it up? A bit more? A bit more? All the way up. Now boost it a little more. Yeah that's good. Perfect.  Now, start the drum machine."

Play Album

I love the fact that every album this artist has uses the same cover photo.

Sunday, 1 April 2018

Nooshi >> The Complete Easter Party Album



Happy Easter! Here's a special album that celebrates everything that is sacred about this holiday. Some of the songs seem strangely familiar, such as "Twelve Days of Easter" and "Deck the Eggs". You like songs sung in high pitch, right? Of course you do.

Play Album

Sunday, 25 March 2018

The Strange Man Who Sings About Dead Animals >> Very Sad Songs About Very Dead Animals



Hey, I know you!  You're that guy from a few weeks ago, Papa Razzi and the Photogs!  You can't fool me!  Just how many names do you go by?  How does this guy find enough time to record all these songs?

Play Album

Turns out his name is Matt Farley, he goes by over 70 aliases, and has released more than 19,000 songs.

Sunday, 18 March 2018

BrexitAnthem >> We Want Our Country Back



A follow-up to last week's topic, the singer of this cringeworthy song is under the delusion that the vote to leave the EU will make the UK a better place. "We want our freedom back, with accountable leaders who know and care". Well, couldn't agree more with that one, but that's got nothing to do with the EU.

Play Album

Sunday, 11 March 2018

L.G. Boreland >> Brexit Brexit You're Not So Cherio



This hard-hitting opinion piece on the separation of the United Kingdom from the European Union goes into great depth regarding the political and economic implications of such a huge decision.  No, not really.  Did you expect anything less from this blog?

Play Album

Sunday, 4 March 2018

Papa Razzi and the Photogs >> Papa Razzi Gets Introspective, Shares His Worldview, and Offers Advice



Piano improv, it's a thing that people do, and this guy does it a lot. He records album after album of himself singing about random things such as celebrities, politicians, things that famous people say or do, authors, comedians, movie directors, fictional characters, and lots lots (lots) more.  It was hard to choose just one, but I did.

Play album

Sunday, 25 February 2018

Chief Kooffreh >> The Cries Of 100 Million Americans



Dear readers. Today I bring you a special treat. An artist I have discovered that you are going to become very familiar with, because he's an absolute treasure-trove of trash.  Enjoy.

Play album

Every single album this guy has released is amazing.

Sunday, 18 February 2018

SNCKPCK >> DOG HEAVEN



Is it cheating to use albums that are intentionally bad?  At least, I hope it's intentionally bad, because otherwise this guy would be seriously delusional.  Bonus points for that photoshop work.

Play album

As I write, this artist has 11 albums on Spotify, all equally cringeworthy. Check them out.

Sunday, 11 February 2018

Vennu Mallesh >> I Love U Dear



Valentine's Day, the most romantic day of the entire year.  Let the soothing vocals of our old friend Vennu Mallesh take you away to a land of fantasy and pleasure, where he will serenade you night and day and show you his love.

Play Track


Sunday, 4 February 2018

Hot Dad >> Are President



Sometimes an album is bad not because the artist is a bad singer, or because the music is poorly produced, but simply because of the content of the songs.  This guy obviously has talent, but who would actually listen to this album for pleasure?

Play album

Check out his other albums, including "TV", 101 tracks singing about different TV shows.

Sunday, 28 January 2018

One Dolla Timbo >> No Comment



"I'm not a stalker", insists this kid.  Presumably that's because his mother wants him home for dinnertime and he has homework to do in the evening, and school keeps him busy during the day.

Play album