Thursday, 3 April 2014

James Dean Claitor >> Let Me Down Easy



You want me to let you down easy, James? OK. Here goes. You suck at singing. Oh sorry that wasn't letting you down very easy, was it? Let me try again. You're awful. Hmm, no, I'm not very good at that.

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Thanks to submitter Nathan for this awful noise

Sunday, 23 February 2014

Raj Shankar >> Sing Dance and Sweat


Sing Dance and Sweat Audio Album For Holiday Mood, to give this album its full title, is one of two equally awful albums on Spotify by Raj Shankar. Here's a tip, Raj. When you're designing your album cover, don't wear a white suit on a white background, or you'll look like a floating disembodied head.

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Thanks to Jac for this one by email submission!

Monday, 3 February 2014

Melchior Alias >> Melchior Alias... Remastered



I may not understand much French, but I know enough to understand that our friend here, Mechior Alias, doesn't have the strongest singing voice. 

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Saturday, 1 February 2014

Love Is All >> Fight



Put musical instruments in a mental asylum, give the inmates a microphone and access to the internet, and the result could be this album from Love Is All.

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Thanks to June for this submission by email!

Friday, 31 January 2014

Henry Kaiser >> The Bird Returns To The Forest



Hello, I'm not dead! In other news, I'm listening to this album. It must take a lot of skill to make musical instruments sound this bad. So much skill that he's released more than 40 albums.

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Sunday, 19 August 2012

The Buttplugs >> Hitler's Nipples




I really had no idea that Hitler was so well endowed underneath that uniform.

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Sunday, 5 August 2012

Doron Braunshtein >> The Obsessive Poet



This 4 CD album mixes spoken-word with songs and instrumentals.  I guess this is poetry of some kind?  I'm not really sure.

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Sunday, 29 July 2012

Arnold Schwarzenegger >> Arnold Schwarzenegger's Total Body Workout



This album features a collection of classic hits by the likes of Gladys Knight & The Pips, Journey, and Tommy Tutone.  It also features everyone's favourite muscular Austrian body-builder turned actor turned politician.  Arnie pumps us up and encourages us to work out.

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Thanks to Richard for this one!

Sunday, 22 July 2012

Vuvuzela Chromatic Orchestra >> Meet the World



Inspired by a recent post on Reddit, I went looking for an album of Vuvuzela hits. Of course, there were hundreds. This album is a collection of traditional songs played through one of these plastic trumpets of doom. No, wait, worse, it's synthesized.

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Sunday, 17 June 2012

Jason Crumer >> Ottoman Black



This artist is tagged: noise, Avant-Garde, harsh noise, experimental.  I can't see how anyone can enjoy this.  Really.  If you like this, can you leave a comment, so that we can learn your secrets?

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Sunday, 6 May 2012

Cyberwhores >> Greatest Hits



This British group channels their inner teenager when producing this album, with liberal use of swearing, controversial subjects, and titles such as "Cuntries R Shit" and "Dictate My Pussy". Surprised they didn't call it "Greatest Shits".

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Saturday, 21 January 2012

Otto Von Schirach >> PUKOLOGY



If you're feeling at all queasy, don't listen to this album. In fact, even if you're feeling fine right now, you might not continue to be so once you begin listening to this.

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Saturday, 22 October 2011

Tiny Tim >> God Bless Tiny Tim



Music of the 60's can be seriously weird, and this album is continuing proof of that.  With his high-pitched falsetto voice and ukulele, Tiny Tim is an acquired taste.

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Saturday, 15 October 2011

The Upstroke >> Porno Groove: The Sound of 70's Adult Films



Put this album on, and see how many of the people around you claim to recognise the music, but aren't quite sure from where.

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It's actually quite good.

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

H.G.Wells Playhouse >> The Time Machine

There are a growing number of audiobooks on Spotify. Some good, some bad. However, how many of them are read by Transformer Decepticon robot, Soundwave? Answer: THIS ONE.

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Thanks again to submitter Uri

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Windarna >> Låt Blodet Flöda

I'm sure there are really complex plot lines and subtexts behind this song. It probably narrates the lyricist's childhood and transition into adulthood, as well as his struggles to learn his place in the world around him.

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Thanks to Edalol on Reddit for this one.

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Cher Lloyd >> Swagger Jagger

OK so it's not really Cher Lloyd, because her version of this song isn't on Spotify yet. But this is a cover version, in her style, which is just as bad (if not worse). Oh m'darlin, oh m'darlin, oh m'darlin, Clementine..

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Sunday, 1 May 2011

Kids Rap'n The Hits >> Kids Rap'n The Hits


What's worse than listening to kids singing? The answer to that is listening to kids rapping. I hope their parents are proud.

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Sunday, 24 April 2011

Shampoo >> We Are Shampoo


Uh oh, we're in trouble, we thought we could sing and release an album. Ah 1995, you were so long ago, but I have such fond memories of you.

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Sunday, 17 April 2011

Florence Foster Jenkins >> The Unbelievable Glory of the Human Voice

Credited as being "The World's Worst Opera Singer", Florence is a shining example of how, even in the early 20th Century, one can become famous for being really bad at something.

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Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Anne-James Chaton >> Événements 09

Do you like French men spouting random nonsense continuously over a background of repetitive drums and droning vocal effects?  Then boy have I got the album for you!

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Thanks to submitter Sébastien!

Saturday, 2 April 2011

Ethan Newberry >> Saturday

Ooh ooh ooh, yesterday was Friday, it was crazy! Oohhh today is Saturday, another day! Saturday Saturday, Saturday Saturday, Saturday Saturday!

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Monday, 28 March 2011

The Smokin' Hot Babe Lovers >> Songs About Smoking Hot Babes, Vol. 1

There is in fact a 2nd volume of 'songs' about 'smokin' hot babes'. Sadly it ends when they get to L, presumably because the Smokin' Hot Babe Lovers couldn't remember the rest of the alphabet.

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Thanks to submitter Dashiell!