Various Artists >> Sounds of London

All of the loudest, most annoying sounds of the streets of London compiled into one recording. Recommended for city-slickers who have moved to the countryside.

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Various Artists >> Rail Dynamics

Recorded on rainy nights along the tracks of the New York Central, this album is full of memories of the golden age of steam travel.

Or you could, y'know, just get on a train.

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Various Artists >> Sounds of the Sea, Vol. 1

Underwater Sounds of Biological Origin. I think most of us know that there's not really anything interesting to hear underwater, but I guess back in 1952 people needed to hear it for themselves.

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Captain Jack >> Greatest Hits

Cheesy German euro-pop with a military theme. Wikipedia says he actually hated being in the Army, so it seems a strange choice of persona to take on.

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Submitted by loyal reader Tom, whose Spotify has started suggesting this rubbish to him.

Wild Man Fischer >> Pronounced Normal

"Fischer was institutionalized at age 16 for attacking his mother with a knife.[citation needed] He was later diagnosed with two mental disorders: severe paranoid schizophrenia and bipolar disorder (manic depression)." Doesn't sound very normal to me.

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B.J. Snowden >> In Memory of My Father and My Life

"In memory of my Father and my life in Canada's Atlantic Provinces" to give the album it's full title, is a recording sung by a Massachusetts high school music teacher. I weep for the children.

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Eilert Pilarm >> Best of Elvis

Eilert doesn't look or sound like Elvis Presley. His grasp of English is poor, and his singing ability is atrocious. Yet, this is brilliant.

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Submitted by Ben, who wasn't sure if this counts. Oh it counts, Ben, it counts.

Joyce Ackerson >> Joyce's Wedding Favorites

A friendly note to Joyce, if she's reading this (hi Joyce!): Not every song sounds good played on an electric organ. In fact, a lot of them sound pretty bad.

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Submitted by Tero. He loves the organ.

The Hit Crew >> Santa Paws

Woof woof woof, meow meow meow, woof meow woof meow. Meow meow. Woof. (Translated: Christmas music sung by cats and dogs).

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Submitted by Matt. Woof woof.

Poll: Awesome or Awful?

I've created a Poll to get your views on an artist I was introduced to the other day.

Their name is Alestorm, and they play metal with a pirate theme.

You can listen to their two albums by clicking below.


I want to know whether you think they are Awesome or Awful?

Vote now!

Spasm >> Spasm

This album is so dull, they didn't even bother to name the tracks. I had to skip to about two thirds of the way through track 3 before I even found anything resembling a rhythm.

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Various Artists >> Ultimate Trasher Vol.1

Bonus points for the bizarre album cover. I'm a little suspicious that this album is bad on purpose, given the ludicrous album art and strange title.

Maybe that's just normal in Germany?

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Anthony Ventura >> Music for Making Love

Anthony Ventura and his Orchestra. More like Anthony Ventura and his MIDI file. If I tried making love to this album, I'd have severe performance anxiety.

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Submitted by Brian, who doesn't need any help in the bedroom department.

The Manakins >> Birds and Dolls

The great thing about Spotify getting lots more independent music, such as that from CDBaby, is I'll never run out of awful albums to post here.

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Evanescent Dream >> Evanescent Dream

Note to all aspiring bands out there. If you want to release an album, please ensure it's been through a proper mixing procedure first. If in doubt, listen to this album, and if yours sounds like this, don't release it.

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Various Artists >> Dating and Seduction Secrets: Seduction Guide for Bachelors

This album will help you meet women who wear giant shoes, and covers such thorny topics as "Crazy Women - The Early Warning Signs" and "You Just Had Great Sex - What To Do The Next Morning". I've got "The Big O" on repeat.

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Craig Townsend >> Mind Training for Tennis

The world of competitive sports are, of course, very competitive. Tennis especially so. So what's needed to be a tennis ace? Rigorous training? A punishing exercise schedule? Constant practice? No. You need hypnosis.

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Debi Weldon >> Soothing Stories and Music for the Solo Dog

I'm having trouble imagining who the target audience is for this album. Is it dogs? Is it dog owners? These are anecdotes from a dog's autobiography. Although wowhere does it mention the fact that the dog enjoys licking it's testicles.

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The Wet Ones >> Spooky Farts for Halloween

Seriously, does anyone need two albums full of farting noises over Halloween sound effects? Surely one is enough. You've heard one fart, you've heard them all.

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Lee Perry >> Black Ark Experryments

Q. What do you get when you mix reggae, electro, and a bottle of vodak?

A. This.

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Baboon Torture Division >> Greatest Hits

What's really worrying is not how terrible this album is, but that as I listen to it I'm almost starting to enjoy it. It's a kind of bizarre dirty electronic weirdness.

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Dion McGregor >> Dreams Again

Some talented musicans might claim that making an album is so easy they could do it in their sleep. Well, Dion McGregor really did create an album in his sleep. You see, he's a Somniloquist (sleep-talker).

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Mike Patton >> Adult Themes for Voice

This album was recorded in hotel rooms during a Faith No More tour. The 34 tracks consist mainly of Patton shouting, screaming, clapping, squeaking and moaning.

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The Zombie Blasters >> The Ultimate Halloween Fart Album

Nevermind those mediocre halloween fart albums that you've heard before, this is the ultimate halloween fart album!

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Thanks again to Stephen for this one. Don't try to blame the dog, Stephen, I know it was you!

Bokova Tatiana >> Children's/Family Songs

Come comrades, let us gather around the campfire, drink the vodaks, and sing children's songs (in Russian)! Da! Vyacheslav, did you bring the midi keyboard?

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